Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
THINGS TEENS SHOULD DO TO HELP THEMSELVES
Emotional Health
People with good emotional health
are in control of their thoughts and behaviors.
They feel positive about themselves
and have good relationships.
They can keep their problems in perspective.
They have both self-awareness and self-control.
They are compassionate and empathetic.
What Should I Know About My Teenager's Emotional Health?
The teenage years are a time of transition from childhood into adulthood. Teens often struggle with being dependent on their parents while having a strong desire to be independent. Ideally, they are maturing from the one-sided self-centeredness of childhood to a self-identity that balances responsible self-interest with care and love for others.
What Are The Characteristics of Emotionally Healthy People?
People who are emotionally healthy view all that they do and say in light of how their words and actions affect others. They do not manipulate, exploit, or abuse others. They understand that the world does not revolve around them. They are not self-absorbed and they don't feel entitled. They recognize their self-centered nature but choose to value their relationship with God and others over their own self-interest. Because of this, they are less likely to suffer from depression or anxiety.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
-- Philippians 2:3-4
Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
-- Bill Wilson
Emotionally healthy people accept personal responsibility for their behavior and their choices. There is no victim mentality, no blaming others, society and the universe for their problems or disappointments. They realize that they are in charge of their lives -- responsible for every action, word and thought, and accountable for the resulting consequences.
I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.
-- Robert Heinlein
Nothing strengthens the judgment and quickens the conscience like individual responsibility.
-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton
A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. You are responsible for your life, and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make.
People who are emotionally healthy experience, acknowledge, identify, and accept their own emotions. This means that they are open to their feelings and are aware of what they are actually feeling. They don't distract themselves from their emotions through hiding or numbing themselves with obsessive behaviors (e.g., drug and alcohol use, sex, self-injury, gambling, work, hobbies, Internet use). Those who are not in touch with their own feelings are not likely to have a sense of conscience.
I learned to be with myself rather than avoiding myself with limiting habits; I started to be aware of my feelings more, rather than numb them.
-- Judith Wright
If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the fertile soil in which the seeds must grow.
-- Rachel Carson
Because emotionally healthy people are in touch with their feelings, they can identify with others' feelings -- they show empathy. It's necessary to not only "get into the shoes," but get "into the heart and soul" of another. To do that, the person must put the need for acknowledgement of his or her own emotions on hold. Being able to correctly and comprehensively read another person's emotional messages empowers them to intuitively identify with the person. Emotionally healthy people are able to imaginatively insert themselves in other people's situations and experience them intimately. In turn, they are able to feel and make a compassionate response.
You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.
-- Harper Lee
The only real voyage consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes; in seeing the universe through the eyes of another, one hundred others -- in seeing the hundred universes that each of them sees.
-- Marcel Proust
Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe.
-- Homer
What Can I Do to Help My Teen?
Working on your own emotional health and communicating your love for your teen are the most important things you can do. Children decide how they feel about themselves in large part by how their parents behave and react to them. It's also important to discuss your values and spiritual beliefs, and to set expectations and boundaries (e.g., honesty, self-control, respect for others), while still allowing teenagers to have their own space.
Parents of teens often find themselves noticing only the problems, and they may get in the habit of giving mostly negative feedback and criticism. Although teens need feedback, they respond better when it is given positively and spoken with love.
Acknowledging and praising appropriate, responsible, and caring behavior can help your teen feel a sense of accomplishment, enhance self-esteem, and reinforce your family's values.
HAPPY INDEPENDENT TEENS
Being independent as teens is the best you can ever give to your self.Even though you have peer pressure disturbance or family problem try your best as possible to be that great woman or man you would want to be as a teens
WAYS TO DEPEND ON YOURSELF
1. The mind: Trying to be independent involves the way you use your mind. " The state of your life determines the state of your mind. "whatever a man thinketh so is he.
So if you believe that "Yes" you are going to be whatever you choose to be in life no evil, situation in life would stop you.
In this extraordinary book, Steven Pinker, one of the world's leading cognitive scientists, does for the rest of the mind what he did for language in his 1994 bestseller The Language Instinct. He explains what the mind is, how it evolved, and how it allows us to see, think, feel, laugh, interact, enjoy the arts, and ponder the mysteries of life. And he does it with the wit, clarity, and verve that earned The Language Instinct, worldwide critical acclaim and awards from major scientific societies.
Pinker explains the mind by "reverse-engineering" it—figuring out what natural selection designed it to accomplish in the environment in which we evolved. The mind, he writes, is a system of "organs of computation" that allowed our ancestors to understand and outsmart objects, animals, plants, and each other.
How the Mind Works explains many of the imponderables of everyday life. Why does a face look more attractive with makeup? How do "Magic-Eye" 3-D stereograms work? Why do we feel that a run of heads makes the coin more likely to land tails? Why is the thought of eating worms disgusting? Why do men challenge each other to duels and murder their ex-wives? Why are children bratty? Why do fools fall in love? Why are we soothed by paintings and music? And why do puzzles like the self, free will, and consciousness leave us dizzy?
This arguments in the book are as bold as its title. Pinker rehabilitates unfashionable ideas, such as that the mind is a computer and that human nature was shaped by natural selection. And he challenges fashionable ones, such as that passionate emotions are irrational, that parents socialize their children, that creativity springs from the unconscious, that nature is good and modern society corrupting, and that art and religion are expressions of our higher spiritual yearnings.
How the Mind Works presents a big picture, but it is not a personal musing; it is a grand synthesis of the most satisfying explanations of our mental life that have been proposed in cognitive science and evolutionary biology, with insights from disciplines ranging from neuroscience to economics and social psychology. It is also fascinating, provocative, and thoroughly entertaining.
available from
amazon.com
amazon.co.uk
Thursday, April 15, 2010
how do one become an independent woman?
Being an independent woman means you have to do things your own self. you don't depend on anybody or any man to do things for you. if you do so u are diminishing yourself . Even when you are married you can still be an independent woman.
You can do this by
1. helping your husband in hard times like when he doesn't have money or lack job
2. you being married doesn't mean you have to make yourself a full house wife that is a very bad idea.
3. Try doing something great to look great.
Doing these things will make your husband and people look you high because an independent woman is a woman that every man desires now.
NEXT WE WILL DISCUSS ON HOW TO CONTROL YOUR SELF AFTER BEING INDEPENDENT.
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